A friend confessed to me recently: “I’ve tried meditation but I can’t get into it, I just can’t clear my mind”.
This took me by surprise, but it really shouldn’t have. I know meditation can be hard – I still have days where I find it hard even after years of practice.
But I’d forgotten what I thought meditation was before I’d started. Just like many of us in the West, I thought meditation was about ‘zoning out’, ‘switching off’ or ‘clearing your mind’, as my friend put it.
In reality though, meditation is anything but zoning out. It’s actually more like zoning in.
During meditation you switch your awareness on. You fill your mind with whatever it is you’re trying to focus on.
The old age stereotype of zoning out is difficult to shake though. So when you give meditation a go and find you haven’t drifted away to some other-worldly space, it’s easy to think you’re not getting it.
That’s not true. And here are a few examples to prove it…
An example to demonstrate the point
Another friend sent me a letter recently (yes, an actual letter…).
In the letter she shared something she gets up to during quiet moments: she considers how someone important to her has made her life richer.
Now this friend is not a ‘meditator’. In fact she openly jokes about my passion for it. But what she’s doing could quite easily be a meditation.
So that’s what I turned it into.
How to do it
For a week, I meditated by contemplating how loved ones have made my life richer.
As an example, you might think of a partner or friend. How have they emboldened you? Or challenged you? Which of your shared memories do you most cherish?
How do they make you smile?
No zoning out. Just zoning in and feeling grateful. And as practicing gratitude has been linked to increasing mood, lowering stress and even strengthening your immune system, you’re improving your wellbeing as you go.
A second example to show meditation is zoning in
Something I’ve been practicing a lot recently is ‘sympathetic joy’ (also known as ‘altruistic joy’). All this means is being happy for someone else’s happiness. It’s a type of loving-kindness meditation that requires zoning in (you can’t send supportive wishes to others when zoned out).
I know, I know. This one sounds a bit whacky, not helping the stereotype of meditation. But as research shows loving-kindness meditation increases positive emotions, wards off depression and changes life for the better, I’m all for it.
How to do it
To zone in during this meditation I use two flexible phrases. Loosely: “May your good fortune continue” and “May your happiness continue to grow”.
In reality these might come out as something like this: “May you enjoy your good news” and “May your excitement continue”. (Some people don’t like the “may” part in loving-kindness practices – and that’s ok. You can swap words in and out so long as the sentiment remains.)
Why zoning in is so important
Whenever you meditate, your mind will wander. It’s just what minds do.
But this wandering gives you an opportunity. It allows you to refocus on zoning in.
In fact, it’s what meditation is all about. Training your mind to refocus. Reigning it in when it does wander.
That’s why zoning in when you’re meditating is so important.
When you notice the wandering and bring your mind back to your focus during meditation, you’re training your ability to pay attention.
More than training, you’re actually rewiring your brain to pay better attention. And it’s this increased ability to pay attention that gives way to the many benefits of meditation.
As Jimi Hendrix said:
To change the world, you must first change your mind.
It might not have been what Hendrix meant, but zoning in is the first step towards physically changing your mind.